Stay Agile, Stay Safe, and May Your Burndown Charts Always Trend Downwards
Fellow Agile Enthusiasts, today I share with you a story from my glorious times of old—back when I was serving as an Inspector at the Agile Methodology Police Department (AMPD). I just did my Scrum certification, and joining the AMPD—a department dedicated to ensuring the sanctity of Agile practices—was a dream come true.
For two action-packed years, I served on the front lines of Agile justice, holding a ticket book and handcuffs with a mission to uphold the Agile values and principles, one ticket at a time.
On average, I issued not less than 15 tickets every month for different Agile infractions. But then, the most memorable case was when there was a rogue Scrum team, literally always missing its sprint targets and, therefore, casting a shadow upon our beloved Agile community. It was my duty to step in for the sanctity of my oath of Allegiance with Agile.
At first, they were let off with a warning, a gentle nudge to realign their Agile compass back on course. But did they heed this advice? Sadly, no.
Their second offense resulted in a hefty penalty of 100 Story Points and 1 sprint of community service, updating the Kanban board for another team. Yet, they failed to learn their lesson.
The third strike was truly alarming. Two members of the team were caught red-handed, attempting to smuggle Gantt charts into a sprint planning meeting—a severe breach of our Agile values.
This act of rebellion shook the AMPD to its very roots, and the verdict it pronounced was without precedent: two years of hard labor on a Waterfall project. Yes, a fate so grim that even whispering it sends shivers down the spine of any Agile practitioner. And so, dear readers, let this be a cautionary tale. In the world of Agile, there are rules to be followed, principles to be upheld. If you dare to stray from the path of agility, beware the long arm of the AMPD. We're watching, we're waiting, and we're always ready to sprint into action.
Until next time, stay Agile, stay safe, and may your burndown charts always trend downwards.
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